it is 3:44 a.m. and i am gaining a new love for rich mullins. sometimes he seems very prophetic because he sings about death a lot and died a publicized death in a tragic plane crash. he does make death sound very beautiful, like a homecoming, the way i think god desires for us to look at it.
Everybody each and all
We're gonna die eventually
And it's no more or less our faults
Than it is our destiny
So now, LORD, I come to You
Asking only for Your grace
You know what I've put myself through
All those empty dreams I chased
And when my body lies in the ruins
Of the lies that nearly ruin me
Will You pick up the pieces
That were pure and true
And breathe Your life into them
And set them free
And when You start this world over
Again from scratch
Will You make me anew
Out of the stuff that lasts
Stuff that's purer than gold is
And clearer than glass could ever be
Can I be with You?
Can I be with You?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
a train of though about flavored vodka and god.
"my utmost for his highest" for december 15th:
If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can. If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the days of his life. Struggle to re-express some truth of God to yourself, and God will use that expression to someone else. Go through the winepress of God where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle to get expression experimentally, then there will come a time when that expression will become the very wine of strengthening to someone else; but if you say lazily - "I am not going to struggle to express this thing for myself, I will borrow what I say," the expression will not only be of no use to you, but of no use to anyone. Try to state to yourself what you feel implicitly to be God's truth, and you give God a chance to pass it on to someone else through you.
in all honesty this passage made me kind of nauseous at first. oswald chambers is telling me to wrestle and struggle and question and doubt. these are things i am all for, and i make it such a priority to invesigate my beliefs. i am always attracted to people who discuss and debate their beliefs, trying to strengthen them by gaining a deeper understanding. i get frustrated and cynical when people accept what they are told without question or consideration. i always say that god has given us minds so that we can wrestle with the big questions just like david wrestled with the angel.
but this position intensifies when he says that "our position is not our until we make it ours by suffering." suffering puts things on a different level- no longer are we simply discussing. suffering implies pain and discomfort. i think this is something i have been learning this year: this kind of suffering and discomfort literally teach us. it is one thing to say, "you learn from your mistakes," but another to say that your wounds and your pain are all for your good. when i encounter pain, i like to believe god aches along with me. i am wrestling with the idea that god wants us to suffer in order to understand his truths more deeply.
i really would rather not struggle. i understand its necessity and when struggles come i try to figure out what god is revealing to me, but i wouldn't go out of my way to struggle. oswald is commanding us to struggle- that means when there is no struggle in your life, nothing to fight, seek it out. i'm not sure if there will ever be a time when i don't have a struggle, but if such a time was to come, i think i would be joyful and at peace with nothing to battle. i guess maybe he is suggesting that we only need to seek out struggle if we lack understanding for our beliefs. i think this is me most of the time- there is always something i haven't really investigated deeply and i can't really express. so in those times i should struggle and battle to figure out who god is, and to express that. i suppose the word struggle doesn't have to have negative connotations but i naturally assume that a struggle involves pain, and pain is hurt and hurt is bad.
it's cool that he uses the word "experimentally." this is just what college is, experimentation. but i seek a different sort of experimentation than trying all the flavors of smirnoff vodka (cherry is ridiculously disgusting). experimenting with experiencing and understanding god entails a lot of extra effort and motivation. there's all this trying and failing and seeking and not finding. it takes time and thought. but i think it is worth it if god has promised to reveal truth to us. we know we won't find it right away because we are blind to so much truth that exists.
expression becomes greater when it can help not just me but someone else. sometimes i think that the truths i learn about god will not apply or make sense to someone else because they are so personal and connected to my experiences, but oswald suggests that god will use my struggles to sometime aid someone else's struggle. i like the wine metaphor, it helps to understand that you have to get rid of all the extra grape crap to get the wine out.
the fact that god asks us to divide up his truth motivates me to go further and deeper into his word, to really pull it apart- but at the end of the day, it is still his truth. i do not have to doubt that fact.
| approved unto god | ||
"Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15 | ||
If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can. If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the days of his life. Struggle to re-express some truth of God to yourself, and God will use that expression to someone else. Go through the winepress of God where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle to get expression experimentally, then there will come a time when that expression will become the very wine of strengthening to someone else; but if you say lazily - "I am not going to struggle to express this thing for myself, I will borrow what I say," the expression will not only be of no use to you, but of no use to anyone. Try to state to yourself what you feel implicitly to be God's truth, and you give God a chance to pass it on to someone else through you.
Always make a practice of provoking your own mind to think out what it accepts easily. Our position is not ours until we make it ours by suffering. The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance.
in all honesty this passage made me kind of nauseous at first. oswald chambers is telling me to wrestle and struggle and question and doubt. these are things i am all for, and i make it such a priority to invesigate my beliefs. i am always attracted to people who discuss and debate their beliefs, trying to strengthen them by gaining a deeper understanding. i get frustrated and cynical when people accept what they are told without question or consideration. i always say that god has given us minds so that we can wrestle with the big questions just like david wrestled with the angel.
but this position intensifies when he says that "our position is not our until we make it ours by suffering." suffering puts things on a different level- no longer are we simply discussing. suffering implies pain and discomfort. i think this is something i have been learning this year: this kind of suffering and discomfort literally teach us. it is one thing to say, "you learn from your mistakes," but another to say that your wounds and your pain are all for your good. when i encounter pain, i like to believe god aches along with me. i am wrestling with the idea that god wants us to suffer in order to understand his truths more deeply.
i really would rather not struggle. i understand its necessity and when struggles come i try to figure out what god is revealing to me, but i wouldn't go out of my way to struggle. oswald is commanding us to struggle- that means when there is no struggle in your life, nothing to fight, seek it out. i'm not sure if there will ever be a time when i don't have a struggle, but if such a time was to come, i think i would be joyful and at peace with nothing to battle. i guess maybe he is suggesting that we only need to seek out struggle if we lack understanding for our beliefs. i think this is me most of the time- there is always something i haven't really investigated deeply and i can't really express. so in those times i should struggle and battle to figure out who god is, and to express that. i suppose the word struggle doesn't have to have negative connotations but i naturally assume that a struggle involves pain, and pain is hurt and hurt is bad.
it's cool that he uses the word "experimentally." this is just what college is, experimentation. but i seek a different sort of experimentation than trying all the flavors of smirnoff vodka (cherry is ridiculously disgusting). experimenting with experiencing and understanding god entails a lot of extra effort and motivation. there's all this trying and failing and seeking and not finding. it takes time and thought. but i think it is worth it if god has promised to reveal truth to us. we know we won't find it right away because we are blind to so much truth that exists.
expression becomes greater when it can help not just me but someone else. sometimes i think that the truths i learn about god will not apply or make sense to someone else because they are so personal and connected to my experiences, but oswald suggests that god will use my struggles to sometime aid someone else's struggle. i like the wine metaphor, it helps to understand that you have to get rid of all the extra grape crap to get the wine out.
the fact that god asks us to divide up his truth motivates me to go further and deeper into his word, to really pull it apart- but at the end of the day, it is still his truth. i do not have to doubt that fact.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)